Of Hierarchy and Pronouns

Just as eyes are said to be the window to the soul, language is the window into a culture.

Today I tried to figure out the Khmer system of pronouns. This is possibly the most complicated aspect of the language and shines a light on how people in Cambodia actually perceive one another. In short, the Khmer culture is extremely hierarchical.
In English we enjoy the luxury of having one single word for addressing other people in the second person, singular or plural, namely "you". By contraset Khmer has a wild assortment based upon age, sex and social standing that must all be reconfigured each time you talk to different person. Eric is slightly younger than Mouly's but he is Mouly's boss and he is wealthy and therefore a powerful man. So Mouly, when talking to Eric addresses him as lowk (rhymes with "folk"), which loosely translates as "Your lordship". Eric, if he spoke Khmer, should address Mouly as nii-ahk (rhymes with "fiat"). This is a term used with "common people" and thus puts Mouly in a lowly position.

If Mouly were taking to a Khmer man or woman of high status he would further have to alter his vocabulary to make sure he was stressing that persons position in relation to his own. This would mean changing the words for "eat", "restaurant", "movie theater" and a slew of others. If he didn't the great personage would feel he or she was being subject to disrespect by an inferior and would thus endeavor to make Mouly's life hell. We, the foreigners, can get away with it, for the most part. Just the fact that we're trying to speak Khmer is respect enough. Even so, we would be wise to interject a few honorific words to show that we at least understand the concept.

In relations with Khmer people I've become acquainted with, a more equilateral system exists based largely upon the idea of us all being one big family. Tula, the bartender at Bokor Mountain Lodge, calls me "Bawng Jon" or "Big Brother Jon". In turn I call him "Own Tula" - "Little Sibling Tula". Dtii-up, who is older than me and female, I call "Bawng-s'rey Dtii-up" - "Older Sister Dtii-up". To confuse the issue further I can also refer to them all simply by their names in place of "you" i.e., "Does Tula want a beer?" When I do this I'm not talking to someone else about Tula, but to Tula directly. I can also refer to myself as "Jon" in place of "K'nyowm", the Khmer equivalent of "I". If it all sounds confusing that's because it is. Fortunately the experience will not be lost once I go to Vietnam; they exactly the same system over there.